I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
