So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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