didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Non-Jews are for practice
I just threw up on my dentist
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
