operation have a gay friend backfired
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
