She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
