So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
