butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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