There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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