I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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