Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
