I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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