Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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