I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
