is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
