He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
