so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
