I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
