And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
