I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
