I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
