it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
