I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
