if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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