Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize