I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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