Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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