I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
