I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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