go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
