I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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