what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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