She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
