yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
as a side note pls kill me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
