every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Houston, we have a blender
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
