Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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