Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
