I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
