If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
