Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize