CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
