omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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