woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
