so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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