Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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