im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize