You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
