Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
