im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
