I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
