this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
