i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
