I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
