farters have to be the big spoon...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize