absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
thus making me awesome and them whores
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
