stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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