And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
