You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize