When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
