so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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