Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize