i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
