I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize