We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
